Singles Scene San Francisco

Fun Ideas for Summer Dating

Work stress tends to lighten in the summer months. Less deadlines, more vacations and focus turns outside of the office for the first time in months. Winter holidays such as Hanukkah and Christmas revolve around family and established relationships while burdening us with financial and time commitments. Summer holidays are more easy-going with BBQs and beach parties while encouraging all to join in the festivities and new connections to be made. We all want someone special for the winter holidays but rarely give thought to summer being when those connections are made.

So now that your eyes and hearts are open, where should you go on these first few dates?

Adrenaline, activity and admire. These are three words to remember when dating someone new. You never want to make a new interest sweat (physically or mentally), but a little adrenaline helps us feel good and be more receptive. Activity helps not only with these good feelings but also provides entertainment outside of each other. Admiring your date comes from watching, yes, but more so from conversation. This is where it can be a good idea to slow the date down into a more intimate setting for the chance to open doors to the mind, heart and if you are a man, building.

A beach day with some surfing, water park or drive-ins are some great ideas for third dates but try to hold off on anything that implies looking for action or seeing your date in a bathing suit until then.

If you do want to go to the beach on a first date, hitting the boardwalk is a great idea and there's usually a versatile selection of restaurants close by. Amusement parks follow in the same vein but may be better to hold off on until a later date unless there's half day pricing available. On the first time out, it's better to only hit the rides for an hour or two (try to keep it at that) and then talk over a fun bite to eat. If you're looking for a different scene, there's plenty of outdoor restaurants and bars to choose from with great ambiance; especially if there's live music. Ask those around you, check places on the internet for ideas. Check your local Chamber of Commerce and search engines for local festivals as well. It's a great two or three hour date with limited cost that offers live entertainment, drinks, food and more. Fishing or an easy hike can be unexpectedly fabulous. They give you the chance to talk while outdoors in a surprisingly romantic environment. Just make sure your date doesn't despise the idea and keep the physical exertion at an easy level. You're not likely to be aware of your date's abilities yet and no one is going to feel sexy panting and perspiring while trying to get to know someone new.

Concerts, theater, sporting events, museums and art shows are great ideas as well but save those until the second or third date when you have a better feeling for your new honey-bunnie's tastes and are sure you want to spend longer periods of time together. If you're looking for more romantic ideas, a sunset dinner cruise could be one of the most romantic ones out there and you can almost match it on a budget with a sunset picnic followed by a moonlit stroll. Wine tasting can be surprisingly cheap if you research your wineries before-hand and can be made even better by renting bikes to ride from winery to winery. Once you're comfortable meeting each other's friends, BBQing or camping are great ways to go. Just make sure your new sugar-britches has what they need to make it a good experience (blow up mattress, location with a shower, bug spray). And last but not least, you'd be surprised how fun and meaningful volunteering together can be.

Now that you've got the info., all that's left is to get out there and get 'em tiger. Happy hunting!

6th Annual Pinot Days Grand Festival, Sunday June 27th

It's Just Lunch is Offering You a Special Discount on Tickets to All the Festivities! (Click here to visit our web page, review event details and order tickets!) It's Just Lunch and Pinot Days have partnered to offer our mailing list members a 10% discount on all of the festival's spectacular events. Just enter the discount code JUSTLUNCHSF10 when ordering tickets from the Pinot Days web site and you will receive an immediate 10% discount on all events. This year's Pinot Days Grand Festival is on Sunday, June 27th from 1-5pm at the Festival Pavilion in the Fort Mason Center, San Francisco. In this, our 6th year, we will again showcase over 200 producers of Pinot Noir from California, Oregon, New Zealand, Germany and Burgundy. The Grand Festival is the single largest tasting of Pinot Noir on the planet, and it is difficult to find a better time for the price; $60 covers entry to the event and a complimentary Burgundy-style glass you may take home.  So mark your calendar! We all know how amazing the experience of our Grand Festival is for those who love Pinot Noir. If you enjoy the Grand Festival, please also consider attending one of our other events (Focus Tastings, Winemaker Dinners, Russian River Valley Pinot Day Tour) scheduled for the week prior to Sunday’s Grand Festival, as we think that these events are not only unique, but they embody the essence of what makes the pinot noir industry so captivating. There is no other wine industry niche that has as strong a community as ours – our pinot producers are accessible and actually desire to chum around with you, and our consumers are passionate, looking beyond simply tasting the wines to the compelling stories behind each of them.  And finally we have a grape, a noble grape, that is versatile, finicky, fascinating and, most importantly, delicious. Our Focus Tastings, Winemakers Dinner and RRV Tour personify these elements. You will get to spend time with our gifted and colorful producers, immerse yourself in their noble wines, taste foods perfectly paired and crafted by some of the finest chefs in the Bay Area and, most importantly, taste insanely good wines. So - !  Please check all of our events during the week of festivities preceding Sunday’s Grand Festival and join us for a truly unique experience in the world of wine. Click HERE to see all the Pinot Days events.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a match!

"Everyone has three sides that come into play when looking for love. What we think we want, what we need and what we actually go for." -- Kelly Numair -- Director of the San Francisco South Bay 

How many times have you heard someone say the person they were in love with wasn't their normal type? And how many times have you heard there's no one good out there? This, my fellow love-seekers, is the difference between getting out of our own way and continuing to use Cupid's arrow to shoot ourselves in the foot. 

You're your own worst enemy. Just deal with it. You don't have to feel bad; we all are. It's those of us that come up with the right love potion of what has to be altered and what can stay that find that sweetest thing we don't even know we're looking for. 

That's where Matchmaking comes in.

Everyone should have that friend that knows us inside out and will tell us when we're behaving like a donkey's patoot. Welcome to Matchmaking. A Matchmaker gives us so much more than what you will find online. A Matchmaker is a professional that will not only tell us how we're hurting ourselves but also help us fix it. They have no bias involvement with our personal lives and sift through the rubbish while keeping a higher level of quality with those we meet and our experience as a whole.  In addition, we only work with clients who are serious about finding a good match, whether it be for finding a steady relationship or for marriage.  

Recently a therapist confided in me about how her fears for the horror stories she thought would come from counseling war refugees turned to bewilderment when their stories focused on romantic relationships instead of the death, war and loss she expected. It's easy to forget how important this aspect of life is in a culture that teaches us that independence is strength. We consult experts for life's other big decisions. How could it not be strong to invest in becoming better, stronger and wiser here too? And what better way to invest than through a good 'ol fashioned Matchmaker?

Congratulations Karin and Neil

We were so happy and we wanted to share your story....

"I joined IJL because I came new to the SF bay area and didn't know a lot of people. Originally I only wanted to meet inspiring people and get out in the city in great locations. However it turned out totally different: I met Neil on April 22, 2009 and we immediately felt attracted to each other. We moved in together in September and got married in San Francisco on April 22, 2010. IJL was one of the best things that could have happened to me. Everything - the very first phone call, the personal interview, the date arrangements as well as the feedback calls were all very professional and well organized. I personally liked the feedback calls. Since Neil was my 6th interview, I could observe the improvements in terms of matches from date to date. Thanks to the whole IJL team!"

- Karin

Dating Myths Revealed

3 Myths That Women Have About Men

By Evan Marc Katz, dating coach and author of the new book, “Why He Disappeared”  

 

I’m not sure if your expectations of men are too high or too low.  I know why you get frustrated with guys who don’t do what you want them to, but I’d like to suggest that most male dating screw-ups are crimes of ignorance, not malice.  In fact, there’s usually a sizable gap between what we’re thinking and what you THINK we’re thinking. Which is why I’d like you to pay close attention to these 3 myths, which will let you know what’s really going through our heads on a date (usually nothing).

 

Myth #1 - He Knows What He’s Looking For.

You may or may not have a physical checklist, but your ideal man is probably taller, smarter, funnier and wealthier than you are.  Men don’t work that way. We’re a lot simpler. In fact, if I were to distill the essence of men’s dating philosophy into one line, it would be this:

Men look for sex and find love. Women look for love and find sex.

That doesn’t mean he’s expecting you to sleep with him right away. It means he determines his attraction to you first, and sorts out his feelings later.  You’ve seen this yourself. Guy makes a move on date one and doesn’t call back for date two.  I’m not defending him. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t be too surprised if a guy kisses you and doesn’t know if he wants to see you again. Truth is, he hasn’t thought it through quite yet. All he knows is that he’s attracted to you and will act on it, regardless of whether he sees a future with you.  You’re not wrong for wishing that men were more like you – you’re only mistaken for expecting them to be.

 

Myth #2 - He’s Looking for The Same Qualities As You Are.

This is one of the trickiest things to understand about men.  You value men for being strong, brilliant, hardworking, financially successful, independent and opinionated.  It’s not that men don’t value these qualities in you.  It’s that they value your other traits more: easygoing, vulnerable, soft, feminine, playful, appreciative, warm, friendly, sexy.  The good news is that men don’t dissect women nearly as much as you dissect men.  Did you look cute? Did you flirt with him?  Did he have fun?  If so, he’s probably coming back for another date.

 

Myth #3 - He Knows What He’s Doing.

Sadly, there’s no feedback loop for men who are dating. So if a guy says something off-kilter and doesn’t get a second date, he never learns what he did wrong. As a result, men are not very well-trained in the art of dating.  They don’t know that they’re supposed to make plans with you a week in advance.  They don’t know that they’re supposed to make a decision instead of asking, “What do you want to do?”  They don’t know that they’re supposed to ask you questions, listen to your answers, and not hijack the conversation with a monologue designed to sell themselves.  In other words, most men are like overgrown 3^rd grade boys: they’re dying to impress you and would pull your hair to make you like them, if they only knew it would work.

So give them a break. Whatever a guy’s doing, remember: he wants you to like him and he’s doing the best he can. “Forgive the ignorance” and appreciate him for what he does right instead of focusing exclusively on what he does “wrong”.  Just as you’d like him to do for you. 

 

www.evanmarckatz.com

Posted at 12:58 PM | Permalink

May 10, 2010

3 Myths That Men Have About Women

By: Andrea Syrtash, Author of the Upcoming Book "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing)"

 

I’ve never believed in hard and fast rules in dating (or in life, for that matter) -- just smart strategies.There are some dating ‘rules’ floating out there that may actually get you into trouble! Based on interviews I've conducted with single women, here are a few of the rules that we wish men would forget:

 

Myth #1 – If you like a woman, wait three days to call her.

Swingers was a classic 1990s movie, but almost two decades later we’re still quoting Vince Vaughn’s character who confidently proclaimed, “Yeah, two (days) is enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money.” when referring to how many days should pass before a guy should follow up with a gal he likes.  It’s time to ditch the three day rule! If you like a woman and have a great date, call her and ask her out for another one before 72 hours pass. Women these days lead dynamic and busy lives, and most (the ones you want to date, anyway) are not waiting around for you to get back in touch.

One of the biggest dating mistakes women say that men make is that they don’t take enough initiative. If you like a woman and want to invite her out again, waiting a few days to call may actually cost you a future date.  And on that note, most women report that they would prefer an old-fashioned telephone call rather than a text message when asking them out. (A rule Swingers certainly couldn’t address in 1996!)

 

Myth #2 Women are only interested in guys with lots of money, over six feet tall and who add up perfectly on paper.

Some women may say they want a guy who conforms to a certain superficial checklist, but I have extensive research to support the fact that we ladies fall in love more emotionally than even we realize!  A man who is thoughtful, smart, funny and charismatic who doesn’t have a ‘great’ job or look like a leading man has a great shot at finding love with a fabulous woman.  Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities that anybody can have, regardless of his stats or resume - but don't confuse confidence with cockiness. Which leads me to the last myth…

 

 Myth #3 Nice Guys Finish Last.

When people say that nice guys finish last what they really mean is that boring ones do. Nice and boring are not synonymous! Nobody wants to date a doormat with no opinions of his own but few self-respecting women want to be with a man who is not nice. 

Kindness is consistently ranked as one of the top qualities people look for in a mate. Don’t be fooled into thinking you have to be a jerk to attract a woman. The reality is that if you act like a jerk to get a woman’s interest, you will attract someone who is insecure or someone who you may eventually lose respect for. (There’s nothing worse than treating someone badly and seeing her come back for more.)  Women love kind men. You can be nice and bold. You can listen well and take initiative. None of these qualities are mutually exclusive. In fact, pairing confidence with sensitivity is extremely sexy.

www.andreasyrtash.com

By Evan Marc Katz, dating coach and author of the new book, “Why He Disappeared”  

 

I’m not sure if your expectations of men are too high or too low.  I know why you get frustrated with guys who don’t do what you want them to, but I’d like to suggest that most male dating screw-ups are crimes of ignorance, not malice.  In fact, there’s usually a sizable gap between what we’re thinking and what you THINK we’re thinking. Which is why I’d like you to pay close attention to these 3 myths, which will let you know what’s really going through our heads on a date (usually nothing).

 

Myth #1 - He Knows What He’s Looking For.

You may or may not have a physical checklist, but your ideal man is probably taller, smarter, funnier and wealthier than you are.  Men don’t work that way. We’re a lot simpler. In fact, if I were to distill the essence of men’s dating philosophy into one line, it would be this:

Men look for sex and find love. Women look for love and find sex.

That doesn’t mean he’s expecting you to sleep with him right away. It means he determines his attraction to you first, and sorts out his feelings later.  You’ve seen this yourself. Guy makes a move on date one and doesn’t call back for date two.  I’m not defending him. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t be too surprised if a guy kisses you and doesn’t know if he wants to see you again. Truth is, he hasn’t thought it through quite yet. All he knows is that he’s attracted to you and will act on it, regardless of whether he sees a future with you.  You’re not wrong for wishing that men were more like you – you’re only mistaken for expecting them to be.

 

Myth #2 - He’s Looking for The Same Qualities As You Are.

This is one of the trickiest things to understand about men.  You value men for being strong, brilliant, hardworking, financially successful, independent and opinionated.  It’s not that men don’t value these qualities in you.  It’s that they value your other traits more: easygoing, vulnerable, soft, feminine, playful, appreciative, warm, friendly, sexy.  The good news is that men don’t dissect women nearly as much as you dissect men.  Did you look cute? Did you flirt with him?  Did he have fun?  If so, he’s probably coming back for another date.

 

Myth #3 - He Knows What He’s Doing.

Sadly, there’s no feedback loop for men who are dating. So if a guy says something off-kilter and doesn’t get a second date, he never learns what he did wrong. As a result, men are not very well-trained in the art of dating.  They don’t know that they’re supposed to make plans with you a week in advance.  They don’t know that they’re supposed to make a decision instead of asking, “What do you want to do?”  They don’t know that they’re supposed to ask you questions, listen to your answers, and not hijack the conversation with a monologue designed to sell themselves.  In other words, most men are like overgrown 3^rd grade boys: they’re dying to impress you and would pull your hair to make you like them, if they only knew it would work.

So give them a break. Whatever a guy’s doing, remember: he wants you to like him and he’s doing the best he can. “Forgive the ignorance” and appreciate him for what he does right instead of focusing exclusively on what he does “wrong”.  Just as you’d like him to do for you. 

 

www.evanmarckatz.com

By: Andrea Syrtash, Author of the Upcoming Book "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing)"

 

I’ve never believed in hard and fast rules in dating (or in life, for that matter) -- just smart strategies.There are some dating ‘rules’ floating out there that may actually get you into trouble! Based on interviews I've conducted with single women, here are a few of the rules that we wish men would forget:

 

Myth #1 – If you like a woman, wait three days to call her.

Swingers was a classic 1990s movie, but almost two decades later we’re still quoting Vince Vaughn’s character who confidently proclaimed, “Yeah, two (days) is enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money.” when referring to how many days should pass before a guy should follow up with a gal he likes.  It’s time to ditch the three day rule! If you like a woman and have a great date, call her and ask her out for another one before 72 hours pass. Women these days lead dynamic and busy lives, and most (the ones you want to date, anyway) are not waiting around for you to get back in touch.

One of the biggest dating mistakes women say that men make is that they don’t take enough initiative. If you like a woman and want to invite her out again, waiting a few days to call may actually cost you a future date.  And on that note, most women report that they would prefer an old-fashioned telephone call rather than a text message when asking them out. (A rule Swingers certainly couldn’t address in 1996!)

 

Myth #2 Women are only interested in guys with lots of money, over six feet tall and who add up perfectly on paper.

Some women may say they want a guy who conforms to a certain superficial checklist, but I have extensive research to support the fact that we ladies fall in love more emotionally than even we realize!  A man who is thoughtful, smart, funny and charismatic who doesn’t have a ‘great’ job or look like a leading man has a great shot at finding love with a fabulous woman.  Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities that anybody can have, regardless of his stats or resume - but don't confuse confidence with cockiness. Which leads me to the last myth…

 

 Myth #3 Nice Guys Finish Last.

When people say that nice guys finish last what they really mean is that boring ones do. Nice and boring are not synonymous! Nobody wants to date a doormat with no opinions of his own but few self-respecting women want to be with a man who is not nice. 

Kindness is consistently ranked as one of the top qualities people look for in a mate. Don’t be fooled into thinking you have to be a jerk to attract a woman. The reality is that if you act like a jerk to get a woman’s interest, you will attract someone who is insecure or someone who you may eventually lose respect for. (There’s nothing worse than treating someone badly and seeing her come back for more.)  Women love kind men. You can be nice and bold. You can listen well and take initiative. None of these qualities are mutually exclusive. In fact, pairing confidence with sensitivity is extremely sexy.

www.andreasyrtash.com

3 Myths That Women Have About Men

By Evan Marc Katz, dating coach and author of the new book, “Why He Disappeared”  

 

I’m not sure if your expectations of men are too high or too low.  I know why you get frustrated with guys who don’t do what you want them to, but I’d like to suggest that most male dating screw-ups are crimes of ignorance, not malice.  In fact, there’s usually a sizable gap between what we’re thinking and what you THINK we’re thinking. Which is why I’d like you to pay close attention to these 3 myths, which will let you know what’s really going through our heads on a date (usually nothing).

 

Myth #1 - He Knows What He’s Looking For.

You may or may not have a physical checklist, but your ideal man is probably taller, smarter, funnier and wealthier than you are.  Men don’t work that way. We’re a lot simpler. In fact, if I were to distill the essence of men’s dating philosophy into one line, it would be this:

Men look for sex and find love. Women look for love and find sex.

That doesn’t mean he’s expecting you to sleep with him right away. It means he determines his attraction to you first, and sorts out his feelings later.  You’ve seen this yourself. Guy makes a move on date one and doesn’t call back for date two.  I’m not defending him. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t be too surprised if a guy kisses you and doesn’t know if he wants to see you again. Truth is, he hasn’t thought it through quite yet. All he knows is that he’s attracted to you and will act on it, regardless of whether he sees a future with you.  You’re not wrong for wishing that men were more like you – you’re only mistaken for expecting them to be.

 

Myth #2 - He’s Looking for The Same Qualities As You Are.

This is one of the trickiest things to understand about men.  You value men for being strong, brilliant, hardworking, financially successful, independent and opinionated.  It’s not that men don’t value these qualities in you.  It’s that they value your other traits more: easygoing, vulnerable, soft, feminine, playful, appreciative, warm, friendly, sexy.  The good news is that men don’t dissect women nearly as much as you dissect men.  Did you look cute? Did you flirt with him?  Did he have fun?  If so, he’s probably coming back for another date.

 

Myth #3 - He Knows What He’s Doing.

Sadly, there’s no feedback loop for men who are dating. So if a guy says something off-kilter and doesn’t get a second date, he never learns what he did wrong. As a result, men are not very well-trained in the art of dating.  They don’t know that they’re supposed to make plans with you a week in advance.  They don’t know that they’re supposed to make a decision instead of asking, “What do you want to do?”  They don’t know that they’re supposed to ask you questions, listen to your answers, and not hijack the conversation with a monologue designed to sell themselves.  In other words, most men are like overgrown 3^rd grade boys: they’re dying to impress you and would pull your hair to make you like them, if they only knew it would work.

So give them a break. Whatever a guy’s doing, remember: he wants you to like him and he’s doing the best he can. “Forgive the ignorance” and appreciate him for what he does right instead of focusing exclusively on what he does “wrong”.  Just as you’d like him to do for you. 

 

www.evanmarckatz.com

3 Myths That Men Have About Women

By: Andrea Syrtash, Author of the Upcoming Book "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing)"

 

I’ve never believed in hard and fast rules in dating (or in life, for that matter) -- just smart strategies.There are some dating ‘rules’ floating out there that may actually get you into trouble! Based on interviews I've conducted with single women, here are a few of the rules that we wish men would forget:

 

Myth #1 – If you like a woman, wait three days to call her.

Swingers was a classic 1990s movie, but almost two decades later we’re still quoting Vince Vaughn’s character who confidently proclaimed, “Yeah, two (days) is enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money.” when referring to how many days should pass before a guy should follow up with a gal he likes.  It’s time to ditch the three day rule! If you like a woman and have a great date, call her and ask her out for another one before 72 hours pass. Women these days lead dynamic and busy lives, and most (the ones you want to date, anyway) are not waiting around for you to get back in touch.

One of the biggest dating mistakes women say that men make is that they don’t take enough initiative. If you like a woman and want to invite her out again, waiting a few days to call may actually cost you a future date.  And on that note, most women report that they would prefer an old-fashioned telephone call rather than a text message when asking them out. (A rule Swingers certainly couldn’t address in 1996!)

 

Myth #2 Women are only interested in guys with lots of money, over six feet tall and who add up perfectly on paper.

Some women may say they want a guy who conforms to a certain superficial checklist, but I have extensive research to support the fact that we ladies fall in love more emotionally than even we realize!  A man who is thoughtful, smart, funny and charismatic who doesn’t have a ‘great’ job or look like a leading man has a great shot at finding love with a fabulous woman.  Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities that anybody can have, regardless of his stats or resume - but don't confuse confidence with cockiness. Which leads me to the last myth…

 

 Myth #3 Nice Guys Finish Last.

When people say that nice guys finish last what they really mean is that boring ones do. Nice and boring are not synonymous! Nobody wants to date a doormat with no opinions of his own but few self-respecting women want to be with a man who is not nice. 

Kindness is consistently ranked as one of the top qualities people look for in a mate. Don’t be fooled into thinking you have to be a jerk to attract a woman. The reality is that if you act like a jerk to get a woman’s interest, you will attract someone who is insecure or someone who you may eventually lose respect for. (There’s nothing worse than treating someone badly and seeing her come back for more.)  Women love kind men. You can be nice and bold. You can listen well and take initiative. None of these qualities are mutually exclusive. In fact, pairing confidence with sensitivity is extremely sexy.

www.andreasyrtash.com

Men, get out of your comfort zone!

Perhaps you are a man who has always dated women who are younger than you. You have learned over time that you are mostly attracted to women who are at least five years your junior.

When you are out in public, it is the younger women who turn your head. You've spent years dating them and you've had both short and medium-term relationships. But nothing has lasted the way you wanted it to.

Every now and then, your friends will tell you that they have a great woman in mind for you, but purely based on her age, you decline to meet her because you are set in your ways. It is ingrained in your mind that you only like one type of woman.

The trouble is, you've never been able to find someone who feels like the right fit for you. Yes, these women have fulfilled your desired physical wants, but you are still searching for that whole package.

Since you've decided to start dating again, now is the time to evaluate your patterns. Ask yourself how well these patterns serve you.

We always tell our clients, "Now is the time to try new things. You never know who you are passing up by being set in your ways!"

It is time to experience meeting different kinds of people. Get out of your dating box and have some fun. See what it feels like to go out to lunch with someone you wouldn't ordinarily consider.

There may be a woman your age, give or take a couple of years, who could make you very happy. Wouldn't that be worth a trip outside your comfort zone?

SF Weekly Statistics Say - Heterosexual men and women need to be more bold in dating.

"Cities like San Francisco where the gay population is twice the national average may pose a challenge for single women looking for mates, even though the data suggests otherwise," says urban studies theorist Richard Florida, who created a map of single populations in cities across the country.

To find out whether the population of gay men and women would skew the numbers as Florida theorizes, SF Weekly took a look at the most recent census numbers. As of 2008, San Francisco had a total population of 808,976, including 93,820 single men and 83,840 single women aged 20 to 40.

Based on the best estimates by the Department of Public Health, there are around 65,000 gay men and about 27,000 lesbians living in San Francisco. Assuming that many of them are single (remember Proposition 8?), we calculated that 36 percent of single men in this city are gay and 18 percent of single women are lesbians.

After factoring in that information, there are 60,045 single heterosexual men and 68,749 single heterosexual women in the age range we examined. That would mean that in San Francisco, it's easier for men to play the field, while women have to compete harder and make compromises more frequently in their relationships with men.

Amy Brinkman, the S.F. franchise owner of the high-end match-up service It's Just Lunch, says she's heard from many female clients over the years that there aren't enough available hot men in the city. She doesn't buy that — she has plenty of male clients she considers desirable. But as someone who has lived in New York City, she has noticed that in San Francisco, men are not very bold in approaching women.

"Here, there are all these group get-togethers," she says. "Men prefer to see women a few times before asking them out." And, as in any other city full of young, ambitious people, San Franciscans seem less interested in settling down than in exploring their options. Of course, that can apply to the women as well.

Link to the whole article -

http://www.sfweekly.com/2010-03-03/news/girl-game/1

Soulmate Search Stalled? Matchmaker Has Advice

Soulmate Search Stalled? Matchmaker Has Advice

A mistake many people make when they're looking for someone to date is that they don't first take a good look at themselves.

Kailen Rosenburg, a relationship counselor and matchmaker in the Twin Cities for many years, stands by the belief that if you're not emotionally healthy, you'll have hard time finding someone who is right for you.

"Check in with yourself, make sure you like yourself, that you know what you want in a partner and how you see your roles playing out," she said. "Then check in with your friends and family and say, 'This is how myself. Is this what you see too? Do I have an accurate picture of myself?'"

Kailen said it's crucial to first make an assessment of your own personal matters because it's no good trying to unite two "broken people" together, as she put it.

That said, even if you do have it all together, it can still be difficult to meet someone. But if you're willing to spend some money, you can hire a professional matchmaker to help you.

The matchmakers at meet with clients face-to-face, have them fill out a questionnaire and then try to match them up. They schedule a lunch date for you at a restaurant.

Stephanie Kluver, a matchmaker at the Minneapolis office, has many success stories to tell.

"We don't do dinner. We want it to be casual and low pressure. We want you to sit down and have a drink or lunch and have there be a short time to see if there is chemistry," she said.

After each lunch date, the matchmakers contact their clients to see how the date went. That debriefing helps them determine what it is clients are really looking for. They say people request a second date about 80 percent of the time.

Kluver said most of her clients simply don't have time to get out and socialize, which is why they come to them for help.

"I think people are at work, in front of a computer, and they are not meeting other great singles. They are not meeting other great people who are a match for them," she said.

The membership prices for It's Just Lunch are on the high end -- $1,800 for six months, $2,200 for a year. But if you join before Valentine's Day, you can get one month free of charge.

There are several locations in the Twin Cities and many more nationwide. And there are more than a dozen other matchmaking services in Minnesota, as well

~WCCO

This Month's VIN12 Event - 2/18/10

Come to 555 Barlett on 2/27 for a FREE Luncheon Condo Tour!