Singles Scene San Francisco

Men, get out of your comfort zone!

Perhaps you are a man who has always dated women who are younger than you. You have learned over time that you are mostly attracted to women who are at least five years your junior.

When you are out in public, it is the younger women who turn your head. You've spent years dating them and you've had both short and medium-term relationships. But nothing has lasted the way you wanted it to.

Every now and then, your friends will tell you that they have a great woman in mind for you, but purely based on her age, you decline to meet her because you are set in your ways. It is ingrained in your mind that you only like one type of woman.

The trouble is, you've never been able to find someone who feels like the right fit for you. Yes, these women have fulfilled your desired physical wants, but you are still searching for that whole package.

Since you've decided to start dating again, now is the time to evaluate your patterns. Ask yourself how well these patterns serve you.

We always tell our clients, "Now is the time to try new things. You never know who you are passing up by being set in your ways!"

It is time to experience meeting different kinds of people. Get out of your dating box and have some fun. See what it feels like to go out to lunch with someone you wouldn't ordinarily consider.

There may be a woman your age, give or take a couple of years, who could make you very happy. Wouldn't that be worth a trip outside your comfort zone?

SF Weekly Statistics Say - Heterosexual men and women need to be more bold in dating.

"Cities like San Francisco where the gay population is twice the national average may pose a challenge for single women looking for mates, even though the data suggests otherwise," says urban studies theorist Richard Florida, who created a map of single populations in cities across the country.

To find out whether the population of gay men and women would skew the numbers as Florida theorizes, SF Weekly took a look at the most recent census numbers. As of 2008, San Francisco had a total population of 808,976, including 93,820 single men and 83,840 single women aged 20 to 40.

Based on the best estimates by the Department of Public Health, there are around 65,000 gay men and about 27,000 lesbians living in San Francisco. Assuming that many of them are single (remember Proposition 8?), we calculated that 36 percent of single men in this city are gay and 18 percent of single women are lesbians.

After factoring in that information, there are 60,045 single heterosexual men and 68,749 single heterosexual women in the age range we examined. That would mean that in San Francisco, it's easier for men to play the field, while women have to compete harder and make compromises more frequently in their relationships with men.

Amy Brinkman, the S.F. franchise owner of the high-end match-up service It's Just Lunch, says she's heard from many female clients over the years that there aren't enough available hot men in the city. She doesn't buy that — she has plenty of male clients she considers desirable. But as someone who has lived in New York City, she has noticed that in San Francisco, men are not very bold in approaching women.

"Here, there are all these group get-togethers," she says. "Men prefer to see women a few times before asking them out." And, as in any other city full of young, ambitious people, San Franciscans seem less interested in settling down than in exploring their options. Of course, that can apply to the women as well.

Link to the whole article -

http://www.sfweekly.com/2010-03-03/news/girl-game/1

Soulmate Search Stalled? Matchmaker Has Advice

Soulmate Search Stalled? Matchmaker Has Advice

A mistake many people make when they're looking for someone to date is that they don't first take a good look at themselves.

Kailen Rosenburg, a relationship counselor and matchmaker in the Twin Cities for many years, stands by the belief that if you're not emotionally healthy, you'll have hard time finding someone who is right for you.

"Check in with yourself, make sure you like yourself, that you know what you want in a partner and how you see your roles playing out," she said. "Then check in with your friends and family and say, 'This is how myself. Is this what you see too? Do I have an accurate picture of myself?'"

Kailen said it's crucial to first make an assessment of your own personal matters because it's no good trying to unite two "broken people" together, as she put it.

That said, even if you do have it all together, it can still be difficult to meet someone. But if you're willing to spend some money, you can hire a professional matchmaker to help you.

The matchmakers at meet with clients face-to-face, have them fill out a questionnaire and then try to match them up. They schedule a lunch date for you at a restaurant.

Stephanie Kluver, a matchmaker at the Minneapolis office, has many success stories to tell.

"We don't do dinner. We want it to be casual and low pressure. We want you to sit down and have a drink or lunch and have there be a short time to see if there is chemistry," she said.

After each lunch date, the matchmakers contact their clients to see how the date went. That debriefing helps them determine what it is clients are really looking for. They say people request a second date about 80 percent of the time.

Kluver said most of her clients simply don't have time to get out and socialize, which is why they come to them for help.

"I think people are at work, in front of a computer, and they are not meeting other great singles. They are not meeting other great people who are a match for them," she said.

The membership prices for It's Just Lunch are on the high end -- $1,800 for six months, $2,200 for a year. But if you join before Valentine's Day, you can get one month free of charge.

There are several locations in the Twin Cities and many more nationwide. And there are more than a dozen other matchmaking services in Minnesota, as well

~WCCO