Today's title was borrowed from a recent post in ScienceDaily.com. And, according to them and some recent research from Northwestern University and Texas A&M University, the answer is NO.
You probably don't really know what you want in a partner. No one does.
"People have ideas about the abstract qualities they're looking for in a romantic partner," said Eastwick, assistant professor of psychology at Texas A&M University and lead author of the study. "But once you actually meet somebody face to face, those ideal preferences for traits tend to be quite flexible."
The idea is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, said Finkel, associate professor of psychology at Northwestern University and co-author of the study.
"People are not simply the average of their traits," he said. "Knowing that somebody is persistent, ambitious and sexy does not tell you what that person is actually like. It doesn't make sense for us to search for partners that way."
So, to recap, don't be surprised if the person you eventually meet and fall madly in love with doesn't resemble your preconcieved notions of who might make up your ideal mate. Something to think about before your next first date.
It's that time of year again. Sure, it's wonderful to spend time with family and to catch up with old friends. But for most singles, Thanksgiving comes with heaping side of stress.
First, there are the inappropriate questions and unhelpful suggestions:
* Whatever happened to that nice boy/girl you were seeing last year? S/he seemed perfect for you.
* Did you ever think that maybe you're being too picky?
* You know, you're not getting any younger.
* Did you hear that so-and-so just got engaged? Everyone else's kids are getting married. What's wrong with you?
Then, maybe a helpful family member will try their hand at matchmaking. Oh no, mom set-ups are the worst!
What's a single guy or gal to do?
For starters, it's important to keep your sense of humor. And remember, they may have an odd way of showing it, but your family really does care about your happiness. It's probably best to just laugh off their meddling and enjoy their company.
And hey, maybe the amazing matchmakers at IJL San Francisco will be able to find you that special someone before the next family occasion. That'll keep them quiet!
What are your favorite movies? Do they end with people falling in love and living happily ever after? And if so, maybe that's a problem.
Have you ever taken the time to think carefully about your favorite heroes and heroines and whether their relationships are actually healthy? We're not talking about the stereotypical disney princesses or Carrie and her crazy dysfunction with Big. Think about your favorite movies and TV shows from the past couple of years. Any relationships or dating behaviors you should really be emulating?
Probably not. Which is worth thinking about before your next date. Speaking of your next date... It's Just Lunch San Francisco is always here to help!
When it comes right down to it, there are actually very few portrayals of healthy, funtional relationships in the movies and on television. Which, in a way, makes sense. Healthy isn't nearly as much fun to watch as crazy. The Real Housewives franchise would seem to be the perfect evidence of that.
For a funny take on a similar topic, check out 4 Pieces of Relationship Advice Movies Need to Stop Giving via Cracked.
Like most of America, we're big fans of The Office and LOVE Mindy Kaling (how could you not!). So we were excited to see this exclusive excerpt in Glamour from her upcoming book. We can't repost the whole thing, but wanted to share some of what we thought was her suprisingly sensible dating advice.
"...Owning a house obviously wasn’t enough to make me want to keep dating Peter. Like I said, he was kind of a condescending dick. But I observed in Peter a quality that I knew I wanted in the next guy I dated seriously: He wasn’t afraid of commitment.
At this point you might want to smack me and say: “Are you seriously just another grown woman talking about how she wants a man who isn’t afraid of commitment?” Let me explain! I’m not talking about commitment to romantic relationships. I’m talking about commitment to things—houses, jobs, neighborhoods. Paying a mortgage. When men hear women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that’s not it. It’s a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome.
So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don’t care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss. (I don’t want that, but I can handle it. I’m a grown-up too.)
I know I’m only marginally qualified to be giving advice. I’m not married, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars, and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked the Anthropologie sale section. I’m kind of a mess. I did, however, fulfill a childhood dream of writing, producing and acting in television and movies. Armed with that confidence, alongside a lifelong love of the sound of my own voice, I’m giving you this bit of wisdom: When you turn 30—maybe even before—a fun thing to try is dating men..."
When you turn 30—maybe even before—a fun thing to try is dating men.
We agree.
Ladies, have you ever found yourself deeply attracted to the sound of man's voice? Or perhaps thinking about a man (and his voice) for hours after meeting?
Well, now researchers at the University of Aberdeen have a scientific explanation for us. In a recent journal article called Memory & Cognition, they assert that their research uncovers a link between the depth/sound of a man's voice and a women's subsequent ability to recall what he's said.
In short, if you want a woman to remember you should speak in a low pitch voice. Also important (and even more interesting, to us here at It's Just Lunch San Francisco) is that women's attraction to deeper voices is based on biological tendencies.
As with all of these studies, we take this with a grain of salt. We can think of lots of sexy and memorable men who don't have deep, low pitch voices. But it's interesting to think that there's a reason why some men might be memorable than others, and why some men's voices seem so universally sexy.
Everyone's gawking at pictures and videos from Kim Kardashian's wedding. And while the (THREE) Vera Wang dresses were all stunning, the bride looked beautiful and every little detail about the wedding and reception seems absolutely gorgeous, we can't take our eyes off of pictures of the couple standing together.
They make quite a pair. Kim is 5'2" while Kris is 6'9". That's a 19" inch difference. More than a foot and a half.
They're hardly the only celebrity couple who have notable height differences. The folks at TresSugar put together this great slideshow of other famously disproportionate couples.
Our favorites: French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni; and Tina Fey and her husband Jeff Richmond.
So often, people come to the dating process with pre-conceived notions about the height and/or body type of who they'd like to date. Many women say they won't date a man who is shorter than they are. Some men are exclusively looking for women who are taller, or shorter than a specific height.
But true love doesn't have height requirements. We all know real life couples who seem a bit lopsided. Lopsided, but happy.
Dating (especially the online version) is now a multi-million dollar industry. And much of it is based on the commonly held theory that if you check a bunch of personality traits off a list, and are matched with someone like you, then you'll be likely to have a long and happy marriage.
Not so fast.
A recent study at the University of Colorado that focused on couples who had been married for more than 40 years found that this assumption did not hold up. Their research is still in the early stages, but for now it looks like all of those matching tests and formulas may not have anything to do with what keeps couples together, for the long-term.
Other research actually suggests that personality differences may be more helpful in supporting a long-term, happy relationship.
For more on these studies, check out Want a Lasting Marriage? Personality Match May Not Matter.
One (of the many) juicy tangents of the hacking scandal in the UK is the renewed interest in the relationship between Rupert Murdoch and his (now famous) wife Wendi Deng. Much has been made about their 38 year age difference. They married when she was 3o and he was 38 (just 2 weeks after his second divorce was finalized).
At first glance, and second glance, they seem an unlikely couple. But really they're just the latest celebrity May-December romance to hit the spotlight in recent months.
It was just weeks ago that the internet was blowing up with news of the marriage between 16 year-old Country Singer Courtney Alexis Stodden and 51 year-old actor Doug Hutchison. A marriage that required her parents permission, and would not have been legal in some states.
These are both fairly extreme cases of May-December Romances. Out here, in the real world, it's pretty "normal" for men to date younger women. And for women to date younger men. Ages differences of 10 or 15 years seldom even get attention.
What do you think about May-December romances? Have you ever dated a person who was much younger (or older) than you? How young is too young?
Have you ever wondered about the right time to say, "I love you" for the first time?
According to a recent study by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, men begin thinking about professing their love 97.3 days into a new relationship.
What's more, men are more likely to say "I love you" to their partners first. In 61% of cases men beat their partners to the punch. However, these same men stated a preference for having their partners speak first.
Women, on the other hand, expressed a clear distrust of men who say, "I love you" too early in the relationship.
Hmm. So men want to hear their partners profess their love, first. But a majority of guys can't wait. And women are suspicious of men who jump the gun and blurt out their feelings too early.
Sounds like, if this research tells us anything, it's that it might be smart to wait a bit. Ot at least 97 days.
Our staff is ready take on all the stressful, time-consuming aspects of dating for you - so you can skip stragiht to the best parts.
